Ok first of all- if you read this and thought yours is the only one, know that YOU ARE NOT ALONE! As a pediatric occupational therapist AND a mom to a two year old, I have the perspective from both sides on how to best remedy this situation. A few key points to remember before I get into the tips: this will NOT happen overnight, so be patient AND persistent and EXPECT tantrums!! they are normal and WILL happen (and that is just a part of the process.... or just a part of parenting a two year old in general haha).
I will try to keep this as short and simple as possible, but I'm pretty passionate about this so if it gets a bit lengthy, my apologies. I just hope at least one of these tips will help you! Here we go....
5 tips + tricks to help my picky eater toddler:
1. Eat meals together around the table.
If your child is still in a highchair, pull it up close to the table. Meal times are social times, and often times the food is just an added bonus to the socialization that happens during meals. Think about yourself- you often get together with friends and family by going out to eat or inviting them over to your home to eat dinner together. Meals are SO much more than just the act of eating, so remember that the same goes for your toddler. If you’re up and walking around during meals, most likely your toddler will want to do the same.
2. Do NOT be a short order cook.
It’s pretty much a known fact to any mama that toddlers tend to be, by nature, picky eaters. If it was up to them, I’m sure they could easily live off mac n cheese, hot dogs, and chicken nuggets (or some variety of those). And if that is all you offer to them, of course they’re going to prefer those things, because they know they like them and YOU know they’ll eat them. However, remember that YOU are the driver to your toddler’s meal plan. They are not capable of fixing their own meals, so it is up to you to offer them healthy and diverse options. It is up to THEM if they eat it or not. If a toddler is hungry enough, they WILL eat. Offer your toddler whatever your family is eating for meals and if they choose not to eat it, do NOT make them something you know they will eat, just for the sake of having them eat. They will quickly catch on that this is their only option, and if they are hungry enough, again-- they will eat it!
*I also want to add that there are absolutely nights when I am giving my toddler (and myself) some Mickey D fries and nugs, so I am definitely not claiming to be some gourmet chef every night of the week haha... and you shouldn't feel like you have to be either!*
3. You shouldn’t force, bribe, or reward your child for eating.
I’m going to be completely honest here- I have been totally guilty of telling my toddler “if you eat 3 more bites you can have a cookie.” But when I think about it, what are the benefits of doing that? I'm just encouraging a sugary snack for the sake of 3 tiny bites of good food. There are some days my toddler will eat next to nothing and other days he'll eat a meal equivalent to the size of my husband's. It is normal for toddler's appetites to ebb and flow, and they will know how much they need from day to day. Don't force them to eat more than what they are hungry for, because this also develops poor eating habits and can lead to overeating later on in life.
4. Keep a routine/schedule.
It is actually human nature to thrive on routine and schedules. Our circadian rhythm dictates our sleeping schedule. As adults, we are capable of knowing what time to eat breakfast, lunch, and dinner. Our toddlers depend on us to provide this schedule for them. Think about when your child was a newborn and how they depended on you for breastfeeding/bottles—this is the same concept! Try to keep meal times at roughly the same time each day so that your toddler's little belly knows when to expect to be eating. Ok, so that’s the schedule part.
Now for the routine part. If you are a parent to a toddler, you know that once you give in to something they want (usually after a tantrum), they KNOW that any time they throw that tantrum, they will get what they want. Believe me when I say that I know from personal experience that this can be extremely difficult as a parent to not give in just for the sake of not wanting to hear them scream and cry for 20 minutes straight. BUT. They are sneaky little creatures. And they know exactly what they are doing. If you give in, they win. However, once you have a routine developed, with expectations that you will not cave on, you would be surprised at how well they will do.
FOR EXAMPLE: your child hates sitting in their highchair. From your point of view, you know that they’ll just scream because they would rather be running around the house, snacking freely. I'm going to be blunt and tell you that probably the first few days of making them sit in their highchair will be nothing but a crying fit. But hold your ground, mama! You got this! Put their food on their highchair tray and tell them they cannot eat it unless they are sitting. They WILL catch on and realize that if they want food, they need to follow your rules (even if it takes a few days of some 20 minute tantrums).
5. Minimize snacks during the day.
As adults, we can go 3-4 hours between meals. This is the same for toddlers. Contrary to what they may insist (believe me, I hear “snack, snack snack snack snaaaaaaack” ALL.DAY.LONG.), toddlers will be perfectly fine waiting to eat between meals. This will also encourage them to actually want to EAT their meal, because they will be hungry if they haven’t been snacking all day long! Also keep in mind that drinks (aside from water) are also not necessary between meals- they are simply fillers and often filled with sugars and other things that your toddler doesn’t need.
I hope this helps! If you have any other specific questions, feel free to reach out to me via the 'contact' tab in the menu bar of my website. You can also find me on Instagram, where I have some saved video stories on my profile regarding this topic: @withlovekellie. I'm always happy to help :)
with love,
kellie ♥
